End of The Cereal Sagas

Two of the past three weeks, we’ve traded love notes about one of the Major Food Groups.
 
Been a good run, our time with cereal.
 
And it doesn’t have to end — not in real life. Not as long as the amber waves of grain are a thing.
 
But it does have to end here. Time to move on to other Foods, other Friends, other Things.
 
As an exclamation point, we’ll do something I used to do semi-regularly but we haven’t done yet in the SBJ. Today, a few of you take the wheel and share some Very Personal Stories. Had to leave out so many, including a favorite from a friend who loves cereal so much, he uses many of his favorites in his various passwords. Thank you to all who took the time to bear their Cereal Souls.
 
From Donnie Golfgame: There was a time in my life I was torn between Quisp, which I’m proud you mentioned, and Quake – which was like a sister cereal to Quisp, although instead of a sister there was a picture on the box of a miner with a light on his hardhat. As George Herbert Walker Bush would say, Quisp was a “kinder, gentler” form of Cap’n Crunch, which we all know is like having a mouthful of thumbtacks in your mouth. Quake, however, was Cap’n Crunch’s evil uncle as far as texture. Eat a bowl of Quake and you weren’t eating — couldn’t eat — anything else that day. Gum carnage.
 
I noticed when my kids were little that Sugar Crisp had suddenly become Honey Crisp and then later on it was just Crisp on the box. Same thing with Sugar Pops, which became Corn Pops and I think today it might just be Pops. Sugar has gotten a bad rap.
 
My Top 10, starting at the top:
 
1. Cap’n Crunch
2. Raisin Bran
3. 40 Percent Bran Flakes, (which now are just Bran Flakes; I always wondered why they didn’t call themselves 60-Percent-Of-Whatever-Else-Was-In-The-Box Flakes).
4. Rice Krispies; (are they just Krispies now? Is rice wrong?)
5. Fruit Loops
6. Corn Flakes, (or is it just Flakes?)
7. Sugar Pops
8. Honey Comb
9. Cap’n Crunch with Crunch Berries
10. Quaker Oats Oatmeal; (when I was a kid, there was a glass dish inside the oats).
 
From Duke of Don: There’s nothing more numerous than different people’s sense of humorous, right? I sent your Cereal Piece to a nephew in England. He responded, “Sadly nearly every cereal mentioned is not known to me; here we have our own which are the same as yours only under a different name. My breakfasts are not usually cereal-based but are instead …
 
1: Muesli (our own make barley flakes, rolled oats, porridge oats, oat bran, every kind of nut crushed up, mixed seeds, and raw cacao pieces plus milk); keeps you going through the day.
2: Croissants with lashings of extra butter, (Sundays only).
3: Porridge
4: Bacon Sandwich
5: Cold meats and cheese when in Europe
6: Crumpets
7: Toast
8: Lashings of coffee
9: Weetabix with warm milk but not very often
10: Corn flakes but only with a gun pointed at my head
 
From JayVee, Team Captain: First, a resounding NO to Trix, or any cereal with colors, and also to Grape Nuts (who in the world thinks this is really human food?! And why ruin the good name “Grape” by associating it with this product?)
 
1. Raisin Bran Crunch
2. Frosted Mini Wheats
3 and 4. Cheerios and Honey Nut Cheerios (tie game)
5. Frosted Flakes
6. Sugar Crisp (as in — add music — “Can’t get enough of them Sugar Crisp.” It’s a different name now — heaven forbid we actually put “sugar” in a name anymore. Gotta eat ’em fast; if soggy it’s a different ballgame.
7. Sugar pops, (ditto previous comment).
8. Raisin Bran
 
From The Skynman: My go-to is Honey Nut Cheerios. I have ditched the rest. I can do both ways. With milk or without. A handful of HNC for a quick snack is a pick-me-up. And on long trips there is a box in the seat next to me to munch on while I drive and listen to my book on tape.
 
From Train: If a team of cereal played ball, here’s my batting order:
 
1. Fruity Pebbles
2. Frosted Flakes
3. Honey Nut Cheerios
4. Lucky Charms
5. Cinnamon Toast Crunch
6. Cocoa Puffs
7. Cap’n Crunch
8. Raisin Bran
9. Count Chocula
 
Naturally, a bowl would coach first, a spoon third, and milk would be the manager.
 

Contact Teddy at teddy@latech.edu