Once the nose and throat were swabbed there was nothing I could do but wait on the results. Wait and hope. Wait because I had to, hope because if anything came back positive there was a to-do list three miles long that would not get tended to.
My throat felt as though I had swallowed glass and chased it with a shot of sandpaper. I had a sinus headache the size of Texas, and my eye was even hurting.
While my body was feeling all sorts of pain in all different areas, I was more concerned about the volleyball tournament that my daughter would potentially miss if I tested positive for COVID. I eagerly began to text parents who I knew had children on the team….but decided to wait until I knew what illness had befallen upon me.
When the nurse casually walked back into my room, I could see the look of empathy on her face. She confirmed that I had COVID, strep throat and pink eye. She began explaining what type of medicine she was going to give me along with all of the instructions. I am not sure that I really listened to her, she sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher. All I could think was….”how was my daughter going to make it to her volleyball tournament in Longview”.
Once I left the clinic, I began to text parents. As soon as I pressed send on the first text asking an innocent parent to haul my COVID exposed, STREP exposed and PINK EYE exposed child across state lines, I thought….what kind of monster am I? Of course, the sweet parent politely declined and I would have done the same. Still determined to get my daughter to her weekend destination, I told my daughter that I would drive her there myself and sleep in the car while she played, stay the night in the hotel and do the same on the next day. I felt so desperate.
Single mom guilt for being ill had overtaken my soul. I was feeling so bad for my daughter. While I was explaining my plan to her, she gently grabbed me by my shoulders and said, “Dude, you are not doing that. I will stay here and take care of you.” She stayed for a while but soon decided to save herself and move in with her dad for a few days to avoid potential illness and quarantine.
As desperate and hopeless as I felt for disappointing my daughter, I knew I would cross the ocean in a dinghy just to make sure she was taken care of. I would lay my COVID body in a Buick for hours on end while she played volleyball, or sat on the bench. Moms will truly do whatever it takes to make sure their children are provided for. Even at their own detriment.
All of this love that moms have for their children does not even compare to the love that our father has for us. His love for his children was magnified on a cross. He would leave ninety-nine sheep to come find the one who went astray. When he created the world he had us in mind. One cannot even fathom the depths of his love.
He hears us when we call on him. He gives us wisdom and helps us keep a straight path. He never leaves our side. He strengthens us and forgives. He longs to be near us.
The motherly love is merely drops in the bucket compared to our father’s love.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”
John 3:6-17
