Main Service 11:00am

No serve that evening.

Bro Larry McGee has something special planned for Sunday School that morning, but he has kept it a secret! Bro Paul Pruitt will be preaching. 

Language is an art—and marriage is the gallery where half the paintings are hung upside down. Words have two lives: denotation (the dictionary version) and connotation (the emotional baggage they bring to the party). The trouble starts when two people bring different baggage handlers.

“Five minutes.”

In the male dictionary, that phrase is a stopwatch: exactly 300 seconds. In the female dictionary, it’s a flexible time zone that expands to accommodate eyeliner, the perfect earrings, and a last-minute dishwasher triage. So when the husband asks, “When will you be ready?” and the wife says, “Five minutes,” the husband hears a sprint; the wife hears a scenic detour. Either way, the car ride will include an argument about whether “on time” is a suggestion or a felony.

“Nothing.”

When a man says he’s thinking “nothing,” he’s not being evasive—he’s blissfully blank. His mental whiteboard is clean; life is a hammock and the brain is on vacation. When a woman says “nothing,” it’s a covert operations briefing: plans, feelings, timelines, and a five-year contingency plan all wrapped in two syllables. If your wife says “nothing,” consider it a red flag, a smoke signal, and a call to the nearest counselor—preferably one who accepts emergency margaritas.

The sigh.

A man’s sigh is a victory horn: lawn mowed, fish filleted, deer rack admired—mission accomplished. A woman’s sigh is a forensic report: it catalogs your idiocy, timestamps it, and files it under “Do Not Repeat.” Keep making her sigh and you’ll graduate from “nothing” to “we need to talk” faster than you can say “remote control.”

“Go ahead.”

For men, “go ahead” is a green light, a verbal thumbs-up. For women, it’s a dare wrapped in sarcasm: “Go ahead—explain why buying that thing is a brilliant idea.” If she says “go ahead” about the expensive purchase, treat it like a landmine: do not, under any circumstances, step on it.

Words trip us up because we’re using the same language with different subtitles. That’s why marriage counselors get paid—either that or they’re masochists who enjoy listening to couples argue about the semantics of socks.

And then there’s the one place where subtitles aren’t needed: the message of love and forgiveness. The Bible puts it simply: “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” Even in the messiest gallery of human communication, that message hangs in plain view—no translation required.

“How do I set boundaries with my in-laws without becoming the family villain”

 See what Ida says 

People have dreamed about coasting back to Earth from great heights from at least the 1470s when Italian Francesco di Giorgio Martini designed a cone-shaped canopy parachute. It is the oldest known design for a parachute. In 1485, Leonardo da Vinci designed a pyramid-shaped parachute. For the following 300 years, several inventors, including Frenchman Louis-Sebastien Lenormand in 1783, jumped from trees to test their own parachutes, but none of their designs really worked as expected.

In 1797, André-Jacques Garnerin attached a parachute he designed to a hydrogen balloon in a test in Paris, France. When the balloon reached an altitude of about 3,200 feet, Garnerin parachuted safely back to the ground and became the first person to design and test a parachute capable of slowing a person’s fall from a high altitude. Two years later, his wife became the first female parachutist. In 1802, Garnerin made a safe parachute jump in a demonstration in England from an altitude of 8,000 feet. 101 years later, in December 1903, the Wright Brothers made history with the first powered, controlled, and sustained flight in a heavier-than-air machine at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. In the following years, human flight became popular. Pilots were seen as heroes and daredevils. Pilots understood that if their airplanes failed during flight, the chances of survival were slim. They recognized the need for a way to escape from a doomed aircraft and saw the life-saving potential of parachutes. On March 1, 1912, during an exhibition in St. Louis, Missouri, parachutist Albert Berry jumped from an airplane flown by another pilot at an altitude of 1,500 feet. He made a safe landing and became the first person to successfully parachute from a moving airplane.

Parachutes eventually became standard equipment for airplane pilots after World War I. They worked well for pilots of propeller driven aircraft and jet aircraft up to a point. On October 14, 1947, Air Force test pilot Chuck Yeager flew an experimental Bell X-1 jet around 785 miles per hour and became the first human to break the sound barrier. Eight years later, in February 1955, test pilot George Smith was flying an experimental jet over the Pacific Ocean when the jet malfunctioned. Unable to regain control, George had to bail out. The only problem was that he was flying faster than the speed of sound and no one had ever ejected from an aircraft traveling at that speed. George knew that staying in the jet meant certain death, so he made the split-second decision and ejected. The force of the wind hitting him knocked him unconscious, but his parachute automatically opened. He landed in the water near a fishing boat crewed by a former U.S. Navy rescue expert. George remained unconscious for five days. When he awoke, he was blind in both eyes. George’s recovery required numerous surgeries and a seven-month hospital stay.

The U.S. Air Force immediately began working to solve the problem of parachuting from a supersonic jet. After seven years of testing, Air Force scientists created an escape capsule for a supersonic jet. On March 21, 1962, a flyer with the call sign “Yogi” ejected from a jet flying at about 870 miles per hour, 1.3 times the speed of sound. The parachute on the capsule opened as expected. Yogi landed successfully and became the first flyer to safely parachute from a jet traveling at supersonic speed. But Yogi was no ordinary human. He was not human. The flyer with the call sign “Yogi” was a two-year-old black bear.

Sources:

1. “First parachute jump is made over Paris,” March 4, 2010, History.com, accessed March 22, 2026, https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/october-22/the-first-parachutist.

2. “March 1, 1912, This Day in Aviation, accessed March 22, 2026, https://www.thisdayinaviation.com/tag/albert-berry/.

3. “February 26, 1955,” This Day in Aviation, accessed March 22, 2026, https://www.thisdayinaviation.com/tag/george-franklin-smith/.

4. “March 21, 1962,” This Day in Aviation, accessed March 22, 2026, https://www.thisdayinaviation.com/21-march-1962/.

5. David Cenciotti, “A bear named ‘Yogi’ was ejected from a USAF B-58 to test the Hustler’s escape capsule on this day in 1962,” March 21, 2016, The Aviationist, accessed March 22, 2026, https://theaviationist.com/2016/03/21/b-58-ejects-yogi-bear/.

Each year on April 1, pranksters around the world embrace a day dedicated to practical jokes, hoaxes and harmless mischief. While the exact origins of April Fools’ Day remain debated, historians trace its roots back several centuries.

One popular theory links the tradition to 16th-century France. When the country shifted from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar in 1582 under Pope Gregory XIII, New Year’s Day moved from late March to January 1. Those who continued celebrating the old New Year in early spring were reportedly mocked as “April fools.”

Over time, the tradition of playful deception spread across Europe and eventually to North America. Newspapers, radio stations and television networks have long joined the fun, publishing elaborate hoaxes on April 1.

In 1957, the BBC famously aired a segment about Swiss farmers harvesting spaghetti from trees — a prank that reportedly fooled thousands of viewers. Tech companies have also embraced the tradition, occasionally announcing outlandish fake products to entertain audiences.

While April Fools’ Day is generally lighthearted, experts advise keeping pranks safe and harmless. The best April 1 jokes are those that leave everyone laughing — not confused or hurt.

Today, social media amplifies the reach of April Fools’ jokes, allowing pranks to travel worldwide in seconds. From fake celebrity announcements to imaginary product launches, April 1 continues to blur the line between fact and fiction.

So as the calendar turns, readers may want to double-check headlines, confirm surprising announcements and approach the day with a healthy dose of skepticism.

After all, on April 1, not everything is quite what it seems.

Majorie Kaye Wages, age 79, of Winnfield, Louisiana, passed away on Wednesday, March 25, 2026, at her daughter’s residence in Winnfield. She was born on September 19, 1946, in Jonesboro, Louisiana.

Mrs. Wages was a lifelong resident of Winnfield. She grew up in Chatham, Louisiana on a small farm where she was raised by her grandparents. She enjoyed fishing, crochet, playing the organ, and especially enjoyed cooking for her family. She will be remembered for her devotion to her family and the quiet strength with which she lived her life. She cherished time spent with her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, who were the center of her world.

She was preceded in death by her husband, Elisha Wages; her son, Robert Holzem; her twin sister, Dorothy Potts; her brothers, Richard Sims and Edward Sims; her father, Leonard Lindsey; and her mother, Sybil Marie Trulove Horton.

Those left to cherish her memory include her daughter, Patricia Mercer and husband Mike, Margaret Watson and Paul Wages; her grandchildren, Wanda, Michael, Alisha, Tiffany, Brittany, Blake, Daylen, and Candice; thirteen great-grandchildren; her siblings, Grover Horton, Mary Horton, and Charles Horton; along with numerous nieces, nephews, and extended family members.

The family received friends at Central Assembly of God Church in Winnfield on Friday, March 27, 2026 from 5:00PM until 8:00PM, and again on Saturday, March 28, 2026 from 12:00PM until 2:00PM.

Funeral services were held at the church at 2:00PM on Saturday, March 28, 2026 with Rev. Michael Whitman officiating. Interment followed in Jordan Hill Cemetery under the direction of Southern Funeral Home of Winnfield.

Pallbearers will be Jamie Mercer, Daylen Holzem, Michael Watson, Prentice May, Harlen Malone, and Jimmy May Jr. All of Majories other grandchildren will be honorary pallbearers.